The popular saying on Pinterest quote or on Instagram reinforcing the need for consistency and achieving great results is constantly slammed on our faces that we get nervous when we encourage the idea of taking a break. As a creative, I barely hear other creatives in my niche talk about taking breaks and I find that it is one essential tool if we need our creative juices flowing.

Sometime last year, I thought about a list of things I had to achieve especially with the blog. I remember stating one time on the blog that in this new month this is what I hope to do. Fast-forward to 2019, I almost beat myself up for not having reached the height I had set for myself.

What I failed to realise is that, with other pressing needs and more responsibilities, I sometimes will fall short of hitting realistic goals. After realising this truth, I no longer beat myself up if I feel mentally tired. I now take breaks while plotting my next move because I am now clear that taking a break every now and then enhances the development of my strength.

I find this does not necessarily have to be when one has set a goal and is struggling to achieve, it also applies if a person has worked himself so damn hard and find he/she is slowly running out on themselves.

Rest comes in several forms, it could mean taking a break from what you are doing at the moment to rejuvenate, it could be going on a vacation, or ultimately could come in form of sleep or talking a nice jolly walk in the field to clear your head, and to enjoy nature, and the peace it brings.

It’s ok to take breaks every now and then as they help with productivity. Don’t beat yourself up if you do not achieve the goal you have set for yourself. Take a break, go back within your inner self (your reservoir) and come back ready to tackle the world again.

What other ways do you prefer to distress mentally?

Mother’s day is here. Another time to celebrate the mum figure in our lives-

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A few weeks back, I was having a conversation with my friend. Our conversation was initially centred on movie producers and she said: “hey, do you know they even choose an actor based on the number of social media presence they have?”. I was taken aback as I felt choosing a cast should be base on talent and not the number of followers.  We went on talking about why movie producers do this and the benefits it holds for them. Whilst having this conversation, my attention was immediately  drawn to those who haven’t got as much online recognition as they would love and the pang in their hearts when they compare their small growing number of followers to someone’s else’s  thousands or millions of followers on Instagram, Facebook including the number of views, likes or comments these people receive on a daily basis when they post a new picture. This is particularly prevalent among teenagers but there is also an alarming struggle among youths.
Now consider this; if an adult could worry about such things,  what do you think the average teen who is only starting to find his feet around and understand how the world works feel?
Don’t get me wrong, I use to worry about Instagram (did I say use to? I mean I still worry sometimes) and for such a long time it left me feeling sad when I see people’s pretty picture and the effort put in before a picture is posted. But I have a few things that keep me going and I hope it helps you.
  1. Knowing the purpose for joining Instagram? Knowing this would help you figure out where you stand i.e I didn’t sign up to NnekasChronicles Instagram to compare myself to others. On the contrary, I signed up so I can make an impact in my little way. I also have a personal account that helps me save my pics and connect with old friends. So even if I am not getting so much from there, it doesn’t bother me and this is because I understand the purpose for which it was created. So understanding this could help. You might have signed up to reconnect with old friends and relatives.  So knowing and understanding your purpose is important.
  2. What value are you adding? This is a powerful question.  What value are you adding to the 50 followers or 20 followers or 1million followers you’ve got? If you aren’t adding value to your few loyal fans, why should you then be bothered about having millions of followers if you aren’t impacting something meaningful? Ponder on this one.
  3. Who are you following and how do they make you feel? I am aware people do something called follow for follow (F4F or FFF) which is simply following back a person who follows you on instagram. So when you follow these people or stare at a picture or profile for so long, what impact does it leave with you; does it leave you feeling sad, happy or inspired? Sometimes after going through a picture, I find myself taking note because I have just learnt something new that I can’t wait to implement. So if your followers don’t inspire you or add value to your life or make you happy, it will do you more good to unfollow them. Trust me I have done it before (I still do)
  4. My last point which I believe is the most important (it doesn’t mean scrap the other 3 though😁, they are equally important). Is: everything is for show. No one can boldly say they have the perfect life however everyone claims so on Instagram or on social media. Remember the perfect picture had to undergo ‘surgery’ using different apps so don’t worry much if your pictures are not up to standard just work on your operating skills and like magic you will be there :). Mind you some of the people who claim to be the happiest on Instagram or any other social platform also have moments of sadness but hardly do you ever see anyone post their sad lives. Haven’t you heard of those who post up the nicest pictures and take their lives the next minute? My point is, we all struggle so don’t let anyone’s Instagram curated life make you feel like a failure or that you’ve got nothing to offer because you do.
  5. If nothing sticks out to you, remember what you see on the gram is not often a true reflection of the person’s reality. (remember the surgery I mentioned earlier?)  As I sometimes say, it’s all packaging.
I hope you leave here feeling positive and see Instagram in a different light.

I know this is a little late but there is a saying that goes ‘better late than never’. right?

At work yesterday, a message popped on my phone and it was basically for me to share a caption about international women’s day. It then dawned on me what day it was 08/03/19- International Women’s day.

A day to celebrate the female gender in their unique fields and their contributions all over the world regardless of their position- whether you are a CEO or a mom you are celebrated.

I was drawn by a quote written by an actor, Amitabh Bachchan on women and it says  “because you are women, people will force their thinking on you, their boundaries on you. They will tell you how to dress, how to behave, who you can meet and where you can go. Don’t live in the shadows of people’s judgement. Make your own choices in the light of your own wisdom”– what profound words. Invariably reminding us women of our individuality, our ability to be powerful in ourselves and make decisions on our own without waiting on someone else.

Today I take the opportunity to remind the woman reading this of how special she is. I need you to know that you are valued and respected. You have a voice as such deserve to be heard.

Above all, you are loved.

So still in the spirit of celebration, Happy International Women’s day.

Yayyyy Valentine is eventually here. February 14th. A day that holds so much and changed my life. That story is for another day.
So it’s valentines day tomorrow. I hope you were able to get your spouse or loved one a special gift from my list last week? It’s not late to check it out and get your last minute gift.

We all love Valentine, don’t we? The flowers, pink and red colours everywhere especially your tv screen, people celebrating, looking happy and bringing food to share. such a fun time.

Today being ‘valentines eve’- not sure if there is a word like that..anyway, I hope you are prepared for tomorrow. Personally, it will be a very long day for myself and a lot of others who have to hit the 5 pm traffic on the motorway just to get back and celebrate valentine. For others, Valentine’s day is the loneliest day of their lives as it is to them a reminder of what could have been or their inability to find someone. For another set of people and this is the painful bit, they aren’t single but it feels like they are because they long to be treated like a queen or a king on this special day but unfortunately, this is only a wish.

So for these categories of people, here are a few things I need you to bear in mind as you celebrate Valentine.

1. Don’t Stalk: I know you’re thinking, c’mon Nneka, this is one hell of a difficult task. I mean everyone will be posting pictures so refraining from stalking your ex is a dream.
Ok, I get it, if you can’t refrain from stalking, at least do yourself a favour by not comparing yourself to your ex’s lover.

And while It’s difficult to watch your ex show or express love to someone else other than you on social media, refrain from leaving salty or petty comments on their platforms.

2. Remember the theme of the Day-

You are already aware that Valentine is about celebrating love. (I am not saying there is or there should be a timeline as to when to express or show love) what I am saying is, since it is about expressing and showing love, what stops you from showing love to yourself? I know a lot of people especially the female gender struggle to treat and give themselves extra attention (You can imagine why). So why not use this opportunity to pamper and treat yourself. Read here to see a list of fun things to do on Valentine while single.

Lastly,
3. Enjoy Your Singlehood: Remember you won’t remain single forever. So while you are alone, treat yourself and be selfish to yourself because, when you eventually find the one, you will no longer worry about yourself alone but about ‘two people’.

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