You will agree with me that the Internet has become an intrinsic part of human existence; it communicates news to us and is notable for carrying extensive varieties of information, little wonder we learn new things and adopt a different standard of living. Aside from that, we often find ourselves checking online to ascertain the validity of a claim. This form of gathering information has an enormous impact on us without even realizing it. For instance, we get to hear stories that make us question the essence of things and often times life itself.
Let me cite an example. Before now; I was nervous about getting married because the internet delivers news on failed marriages. As a matter of fact, these marriages were barely a year old. The news on failed marriage would get to me and make me worried. Unconsciously I took on the fear I was presented with and unknown to me it became a second nature. I would sit and question what would happen when I get married- several thoughts will cross my mind like, ‘how long will my marriage last for, will I have a failed marriage, is failed marriage the new trend, could this be the norm in society or is it a bug people would have to catch at some point in marriage?’. I constantly questioned myself and I let the fear of failed marriage reside in me for as long as I could remember.
Contrary to what you might be thinking, I do not come from a broken home. As a matter of fact, my parents are still together and are good examples of marriage that have gone through the test of time. However, I come across stories of younger couples who are on the verge of giving up on their marriage or have given up completely; unfortunately, these couples are models to our generation.
So how did I free myself from this dilemma you might be wondering?
In other to get out of that state I created unconsciously, I got to read stories of marriages that are thriving. Some of these marriages have gone on for 20 years and counting, for example, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett, David and Victoria Beckham. And ooh!! did I forget to mention, T.D Jakes and his wife Serita. The list goes on and on.
Having shared my story, I assume we all deal with fear one way or another considering what’s going on around us and what the media presents to us. Yours doesn’t necessarily have to be about marriage; it could be fear of suffering, bombing, or even death the worse of it all (I went through that as well). It’s something only known to you.
Just like I did, first, renew your mind. I can’t over emphasize that. I made a conscious effort to do better in marriage and not let what the media present to me define my perspective on love or marriage. Also as a believer in God, I prayed about the situation (Fear). Additionally, I read books on marriages and, on my social platforms; I followed couples who share their experiences and marital journey with the world. Besides, I engage in conversations with younger couples who have been married long enough and who share their struggles and triumph in marriage. Above all this, I learnt to take on the lessons but not the fear.
While writing this, it dawned on me that we fail to realise the power embedded in us as a result of fear. We are oblivious to the fact that we can be a source of inspiration to ourselves especially when we are not inspired by those around us most of all; the media. So this brings me to a conclusion ‘when you hear unpleasant stories especially online, it’s ok to show sympathy but do not take the fear upon yourself’.