Yayyyy Valentine is eventually here. February 14th. A day that holds so much and changed my life. That story is for another day.
So it’s valentines day tomorrow. I hope you were able to get your spouse or loved one a special gift from my list last week? It’s not late to check it out and get your last minute gift.

We all love Valentine, don’t we? The flowers, pink and red colours everywhere especially your tv screen, people celebrating, looking happy and bringing food to share. such a fun time.

Today being ‘valentines eve’- not sure if there is a word like that..anyway, I hope you are prepared for tomorrow. Personally, it will be a very long day for myself and a lot of others who have to hit the 5 pm traffic on the motorway just to get back and celebrate valentine. For others, Valentine’s day is the loneliest day of their lives as it is to them a reminder of what could have been or their inability to find someone. For another set of people and this is the painful bit, they aren’t single but it feels like they are because they long to be treated like a queen or a king on this special day but unfortunately, this is only a wish.

So for these categories of people, here are a few things I need you to bear in mind as you celebrate Valentine.

1. Don’t Stalk: I know you’re thinking, c’mon Nneka, this is one hell of a difficult task. I mean everyone will be posting pictures so refraining from stalking your ex is a dream.
Ok, I get it, if you can’t refrain from stalking, at least do yourself a favour by not comparing yourself to your ex’s lover.

And while It’s difficult to watch your ex show or express love to someone else other than you on social media, refrain from leaving salty or petty comments on their platforms.

2. Remember the theme of the Day-

You are already aware that Valentine is about celebrating love. (I am not saying there is or there should be a timeline as to when to express or show love) what I am saying is, since it is about expressing and showing love, what stops you from showing love to yourself? I know a lot of people especially the female gender struggle to treat and give themselves extra attention (You can imagine why). So why not use this opportunity to pamper and treat yourself. Read here to see a list of fun things to do on Valentine while single.

Lastly,
3. Enjoy Your Singlehood: Remember you won’t remain single forever. So while you are alone, treat yourself and be selfish to yourself because, when you eventually find the one, you will no longer worry about yourself alone but about ‘two people’.

I realise there are infinite number of things or people we will compare ourselves with. The list is fathomless and  comparing yourself is a strong emotion that resonates with every individual regardless of age or race.

And even if you do not want to, you seldom find that you are drawn towards comparing or competing with someone else because that in itself is a strong human emotion and when you start comparing you find there is no end to it especially if you see your mates or people on social media (which by the way mostly depicts false impression)  doing something exciting and you are yet to achieve that, you are drawn to comparing.

You need to understand that comparing yourself only rubs you off your happiness- Your own happiness and your precious time. Rather than comparing, why not find something worthwhile to do in order to develop yourself.

Everyone has a different route they go through in life as well as different gifts. The fact that someone got there before you doesn’t make you a failure. You are only different and will get there eventually, you might just take a longer route and that’s ok.

Comparison also brings about resentment. You find yourself resenting the other person and the most silly thing is, this person is not aware of what’s going on in your world. They are busy making themselves better.

Also, comparison makes you channel your energy on the wrong thing because you focus on something else rather than working on yourself.  I know it can be frustrating when you hope to attain a certain level in life but are unable to because of one situation or another but find others achieving the same thing- I understand but remember I mentioned earlier, we all have different routes. Some people might get there before others but in the end, you will get there even if you take the longer route. It is ok, just keep pushing and work harder.

Another thing to remember is, no one gets a gold medal for owning the first house or getting married first or giving birth first so enjoy the process whilst you are trying to be the best version of yourself and do not let the spirit of comparison dwell in you because it brings about negative emotions and I believe you want to live  healthy lives.

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