You will agree with me that the Internet has become an intrinsic part of human existence; it communicates news to us and is notable for carrying extensive varieties of information, little wonder we learn new things and adopt a different standard of living. Aside from that, we often find ourselves checking online to ascertain the validity of a claim. This form of gathering information has an enormous impact on us without even realizing it. For instance, we get to hear stories that make us question the essence of things and often times life itself.
Let me cite an example. Before now; I was nervous about getting married because the internet delivers news on failed marriages. As a matter of fact, these marriages were barely a year old. The news on failed marriage would get to me and make me worried. Unconsciously I took on the fear I was presented with and unknown to me it became a second nature. I would sit and question what would happen when I get married- several thoughts will cross my mind like, ‘how long will my marriage last for, will I have a failed marriage, is failed marriage the new trend, could this be the norm in society or is it a bug people would have to catch at some point in marriage?’. I constantly questioned myself and I let the fear of failed marriage reside in me for as long as I could remember.
Contrary to what you might be thinking, I do not come from a broken home. As a matter of fact, my parents are still together and are good examples of marriage that have gone through the test of time. However, I come across stories of younger couples who are on the verge of giving up on their marriage or have given up completely; unfortunately, these couples are models to our generation.
So how did I free myself from this dilemma you might be wondering?
In other to get out of that state I created unconsciously, I got to read stories of marriages that are thriving. Some of these marriages have gone on for 20 years and counting, for example, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett, David and Victoria Beckham. And ooh!! did I forget to mention, T.D Jakes and his wife Serita. The list goes on and on.
Having shared my story, I assume we all deal with fear one way or another considering what’s going on around us and what the media presents to us. Yours doesn’t necessarily have to be about marriage; it could be fear of suffering, bombing, or even death the worse of it all (I went through that as well). It’s something only known to you.
Just like I did, first, renew your mind. I can’t over emphasize that. I made a conscious effort to do better in marriage and not let what the media present to me define my perspective on love or marriage. Also as a believer in God, I prayed about the situation (Fear). Additionally, I read books on marriages and, on my social platforms; I followed couples who share their experiences and marital journey with the world. Besides, I engage in conversations with younger couples who have been married long enough and who share their struggles and triumph in marriage. Above all this, I learnt to take on the lessons but not the fear.
While writing this, it dawned on me that we fail to realise the power embedded in us as a result of fear. We are oblivious to the fact that we can be a source of inspiration to ourselves especially when we are not inspired by those around us most of all; the media. So this brings me to a conclusion ‘when you hear unpleasant stories especially online, it’s ok to show sympathy but do not take the fear upon yourself’.
Last week I was on the train and the gentleman sitting next to me stood up to offer a lady his seat. When she sat down, she kept staring at me. My old self would have felt guilty for not being the first to offer my seat instead, I ignored her and busied myself with what I was doing earlier.
It then dawned on me that most people often feel the same way not necessarily when they don’t offer their seat on a train or a bus but In other situations. It’s common to man to want to gain the favour and appreciation of another ( we all feel like that sometimes. To feel noticed and appreciated right? ). Anyway; my not offering my seat wasn’t because I was trying to feel a type of way but I thought to myself: ‘I had to be at a certain place by half nine that morning. That means I had to get up really early to get ready for my day. After completing what I had to do, I left to catch the train back home. This means I too I’m exhausted and needed to sit.
On seeing the lady when she got into the train, I assumed she’s got a long day and might be exhausted like me. I could have offered my seat but I too was tired.
So this got.me thinking as I said earlier; most people would offer their seats in order to be recognised as a good person ( mind you others will give up their seats regardless not having any ulterior motive).
This doesn’t mean I don’t give up seats. Contrary to what you might be thinking I actually do especially if there is an elderly person, a pregnant woman or someone with special needs. But the point I’m trying to make here is, we often do things in other to get recognition. I’ve heard of stories where a man would offer help to someone else at the detriment of his family.
A religious person reading this might say ‘but the holy book says…’ I am not contradicting what the Bible or Quran says but I feel everyone should be wise in their dealings. The holy book never said ‘give your neighbour and starve your family’ .
So friends don’t feel pressured to help someone if it’s beyond your capacity however if you’ve got the means or strength to help someone please; by all means go all the way out. If you are however limited in any way don’t put yourself under immense pressure or worry and concern yourself with what the next person will think about you.
Till next time Smile, Love your God, Love your Neighbour and be a Blessing.
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you wonder why things do not happen as you envisioned or if like me you believe in a God but you wonder why he takes his time especially after praying, working hard and trusting him. Basically, after doing what the holy book instructs you to do?
Let me give you an example. I trusted God to pass a test In march. I so wanted to get that test sorted and out of the way. I worked really hard. I had prepared for it and prayed about it and I did have faith I’d come correct. Only for me to get the result saying I didn’t make it.
You can imagine how I felt, so devastated. I cried.
Even though I felt really bad, I tried praying but didn’t know what exactly to say to God. Few months went by I still felt hurt and betrayed by him.
Fast forward: I was reflecting this week and it dawned on me that I’ve got to enjoy this season I’m in. I had to challenge myself by asking ‘if I trust God so much so, why question his timing?’.
I made a concrete decision to enjoy each season I find myself and stop trying to control God’s timing for my life. It doesn’t mean I’ve completely forgotten about the fact I didn’t pass the test, no! on the contrary, I do remember but I’m grateful God has a better plan for my life and my willingness to submit to his timing will help me appreciate where I am at the moment, that way, when I eventually scale through the test, I can truly be thankful.
That being said, I’ve made a decision to find JOY in Christ regardless of what season I find myself.
I was studying my bible and a thought dropped in my heart. I was thinking to myself “in the bible it says “…ask and it shall be given, seek and ye shall find, knock and the door shall be open..”. That means if, for example, I ask God to bless me with a job I desire and I get called for the interview but wasn’t offered the job does that make the bible verse Matthew 7:7 irrelevant?”.
This got me thinking and I found myself saying if after praying for a job or a promotion or something that I greatly desired and it doesn’t come through as a Christian, it means God is preparing a better way for me or might be shielding me from future pains which I am unable to see presently. If that is the case, it means the verse isn’t powerless. It could also mean there is a better position awaiting or a lesson to learn from that experience but our minds get clouded with our present situation preventing from grasping the knowledge or blessing that awaits us.
Having said that, as christians our faiths are often questioned when good things don’t come our way as we expect they should and it gets worse when we see these things been handed to unbelievers on a Platter of gold. Do not get discouraged when these things happen. Just believe your creator has got better plans for you. In other words, your greater is coming if you hang in and don’t throw in the towel.
I can hardly believe 2015 is over.Looking back, 2015 was a beautiful year for me as an individual and for my family. It was a year filled with extraordinary blessings and I couldn’t be more grateful. As a result, I decided to count my blessings 🙂
In 2015, I graduated with a beautiful result and was blessed with a wonderful job almost immediately. Aside from that, my big sis graduated and got married to her longtime boo. And when we least expected, my little ones were blessed with a job. To me, it was one testimony after another.
I’m glad you made it through to the new year; although some of my needs were not met in 2015 however, I came into 2016 hoping for the best and trusting God. As some people say, “where there is life, there is hope” so I’m walking into 2016 trusting it will be a glorious one filled with unending blessings.
I appeal to you to keep trusting and pushing and never losing hope, have a set plan and work towards achieving each goal you’ve proposed in your heart.
I wish you the very best in 2016.
Happy New Year!!