Yayyyy Valentine is eventually here. February 14th. A day that holds so much and changed my life. That story is for another day.
So it’s valentines day tomorrow. I hope you were able to get your spouse or loved one a special gift from my list last week? It’s not late to check it out and get your last minute gift.

We all love Valentine, don’t we? The flowers, pink and red colours everywhere especially your tv screen, people celebrating, looking happy and bringing food to share. such a fun time.

Today being ‘valentines eve’- not sure if there is a word like that..anyway, I hope you are prepared for tomorrow. Personally, it will be a very long day for myself and a lot of others who have to hit the 5 pm traffic on the motorway just to get back and celebrate valentine. For others, Valentine’s day is the loneliest day of their lives as it is to them a reminder of what could have been or their inability to find someone. For another set of people and this is the painful bit, they aren’t single but it feels like they are because they long to be treated like a queen or a king on this special day but unfortunately, this is only a wish.

So for these categories of people, here are a few things I need you to bear in mind as you celebrate Valentine.

1. Don’t Stalk: I know you’re thinking, c’mon Nneka, this is one hell of a difficult task. I mean everyone will be posting pictures so refraining from stalking your ex is a dream.
Ok, I get it, if you can’t refrain from stalking, at least do yourself a favour by not comparing yourself to your ex’s lover.

And while It’s difficult to watch your ex show or express love to someone else other than you on social media, refrain from leaving salty or petty comments on their platforms.

2. Remember the theme of the Day-

You are already aware that Valentine is about celebrating love. (I am not saying there is or there should be a timeline as to when to express or show love) what I am saying is, since it is about expressing and showing love, what stops you from showing love to yourself? I know a lot of people especially the female gender struggle to treat and give themselves extra attention (You can imagine why). So why not use this opportunity to pamper and treat yourself. Read here to see a list of fun things to do on Valentine while single.

Lastly,
3. Enjoy Your Singlehood: Remember you won’t remain single forever. So while you are alone, treat yourself and be selfish to yourself because, when you eventually find the one, you will no longer worry about yourself alone but about ‘two people’.

 

I can’t believe Valentine is almost around the corner. I remember, in the past, I use to wonder what to get for the male gender so when I try to get gifts for my dad or brothers, I tend to go for the regular T-shirts or Shirts, Underwears- mainly clothing gifts.

I soon realise I wasn’t the only one who struggles with getting gifts for people. So since I’ve become somewhat a pro at getting gifts, I thought it would be nice to talk you through some gift ideas you could get your other half, mum, dad, brother, sister or friend this Valentine so here are a list of gift items I have written down that could appeal to both gender regardless of age.

Perfume: Who doesn’t love a good smell? No one could ever go wrong with a nice smell. I have got so many collections of perfume in my closet, you might think I’m vain:). Over time, I have learnt how to store my favourite perfumes to keep them smelling nice for a very long time. My go-to perfumes are eau de perfume as I believe they last longer in terms of smell as compared to eau de toilette.

Makeup Kit/ Make up Brushes: A lady likes to look good. So you could get this kit for your mum, wife or girlfriend. Just make sure you go for the right complexion. If you aren’t able to afford a kit, get her either a foundation, powder, brush set or a lipstick.  My go-to lipstick will be the ‘matte lipstick’. You can’t go wrong with it and it stays longer and sexier on your woman’s lips. However please do not buy one lipstick as a gift, switch it up with something else i.e some of the items already listed.

Dress or T-Shirt: Both for ladies and men, a lovely dress will suit her well or a nice jumpsuit. If you want to take your lady out on a nice romantic date, selecting the nice outfit does justice to the whole evening. You could also complement it with the right underwear and a beautiful pair of shoe.

As a female, you could get him a nice smart shirt that will make him look really cool. This could also complement for a date night or any outdoor event. This could be complemented with a boxer shorts ( you know what your other half puts on).

Gift Box: Just like the one below, it comes with different but lovely collections. Luckily, there are male and female gift boxes.

Piece of jewellery such as Wrist Watches/ Bracelet/Necklaces/ Earrings : 

You can get this as a pair or mix it up.

 

Video Game Console: Although this is slightly on the high side, none the less, if you are able to, some men love to have an Xbox or ps4. This is sure to blow his mind.

Fashion bag/ Shoe: You also can’t go wrong in this.

Inscribed Gifts: This could come in form of a mug or a sofa pillow with the person’s picture crested upon it expressing how much they mean to you.

Nail Polish Set: Every female likes to have her nails done. So why not?

Flower: I am not a huge fan but a lot of ladies love this. My mum loves flowers so for someone like her when getting a gift, it will be ideal to top it up with a bouquet of flowers. For others, it might be a love for chocolate or a nice wine e.t.c. These are additional top up’s you could add to their gift item.

So there you have it. Valentine is upon us, I hope you have a great one and spread love.

Let me know what gift ideas you have in mind and what you hope to get your partner, wife, husband, mum, dad or siblings and additional gift ideas you think I missed out.

 

Photo Credit: Me(Nikki’s Taking Shotz)

I was having my shower and a word of wisdom dropped. By now one will think I tend to get inspiration in bathrooms (see my previous bathroom inspired post here). The story of Jonah came to mind and how God told him to go to Nineveh to preach the gospel but out of fear, he went the opposite direction. While he was running away, God sent a heavy storm that shook the boat he was in and the people in the boat threw away their belongings to make the boat a little lighter. Whilst everyone was busy panicking and praying, they noticed Jonah was asleep. Long story short, Jonah told them he was running away from God and if they do not throw him off the boat, they might all die. The travellers threw Jonah overboard in the midst of the terrible storm and the sea became calm again.

While going through my routine, the thought of ‘Minding who you walk with in 2019 came to mind and I couldn’t wait to share’. I realise that a lot of opportunities have been missed as a result of the kind of relationship a person keeps. Back to the bible narrative, the travellers would have lost their lives have they not gotten rid of Jonah.

Do you remember when your parents would warn you against associating yourselves with a certain person because they were concerned you would be judged by others in accordance with the friends you keep or particularly the influence they might have on you? It’s been said countless times that “show me your friend and I will tell you who you are”. In essence, if you have a negative friend, invariably, you automatically become a negative person even if you are not and this happens because the company you hang with is believed to depict an actual representation of who you are and what you stand for regardless if it is true or not.

As you go through your journey, you will begin to understand like the men travelling with Jonah how important relationships are. In the early years of my life especially as a teenager and one going into adulthood, I thought having so many friends was important and I will become unhappy when I find that the people who I called my inner circle were no longer the same people I once walked with. Now I do no such thing as I have come to realise that not all relationships are supposed to walk you through your life’s journey. I now understand that some relationships will last a while and probably till you complete your journey on earth while others will last for a season. It’s up to you to unplug when a particular season comes to an end. Be tough enough to let go.  Obviously, letting go isn’t always easy but the earlier we condition our minds to work that way, the better for us.

It’s important to check for traces in people we think might drag us down and to eliminate such people from our lives without feeling sorry. Cutting yourself off people doesn’t make them your enemies, you just aren’t designed to walk a path with them anymore and even though it might have been good at some point, always know when to draw curtains especially when you sense the relationship isn’t making you a better person.

This brings me to the conclusion; as you walk through 2019, remember the story of Jonah. Be conscious of who you call a ‘close pal’ because your character is often reflected by the company and friends you chose to surround yourself with.

 

‘Transition’ a word that keeps coming to mind and today being the last day of the year I reflect on the shifting’s and changes that I personally experienced this year and how those changes have brought about growth and newer challenge. Not to say these transitions were fun as I went through them, sometimes they came with unending tears and having no other hope but clinging to God and other times, making me appreciate the lessons in the change.

I believe transitioning occurs both spiritually and physically to bring about growth in one’s journey and experience, and a total dependability on God.

Transitioning could come in several forms such as; relocating to a new environment as such, saying goodbyes to friends or families; getting a new job, a new car, having a baby, getting married or starting new relationships- now you get the picture. These requires a lot of shifting and considering I have experienced so much transition in this year, I can boldly tell you transition doesn’t always feel good as I felt comfortable in my previous position and didn’t feel the need to reposition but growing up, my dad made me understand that for things to change, I first have to change. In essence, I have to, change my mind-set and attitude and not clinging to the old or usual occurrence, I must condition my mind to accept the new change in order for me to enjoy or see the blessing in it.

As you journey into 2019, I ‘NEED’ you to understand you most likely will experience changes- which could hit you over your head (in form of a surprise) or one you are prepared for. Whatever the case, do not settle for less, appreciate the change and as overwhelming as transitioning might be, do understand it is not the end of you, it is only shifting you to a position where you become stronger and wiser (I talk from experience) and in a better position to be of help and be closer to God.

As you transition in 2019, you might feel God is far away and no longer hears your prayer, you might even think he is so slow in responding to your needs but those are moments I want you to remember that he sticks closer than a brother  and is a very present help in times of trouble or uncertainties. In that moment, he is depending on you to trust solely on him- please do this no matter how excruciating the pain might feel. He will bring you out.

Happy New Year and have a wonderful 2019.

 

I realise there are infinite number of things or people we will compare ourselves with. The list is fathomless and  comparing yourself is a strong emotion that resonates with every individual regardless of age or race.

And even if you do not want to, you seldom find that you are drawn towards comparing or competing with someone else because that in itself is a strong human emotion and when you start comparing you find there is no end to it especially if you see your mates or people on social media (which by the way mostly depicts false impression)  doing something exciting and you are yet to achieve that, you are drawn to comparing.

You need to understand that comparing yourself only rubs you off your happiness- Your own happiness and your precious time. Rather than comparing, why not find something worthwhile to do in order to develop yourself.

Everyone has a different route they go through in life as well as different gifts. The fact that someone got there before you doesn’t make you a failure. You are only different and will get there eventually, you might just take a longer route and that’s ok.

Comparison also brings about resentment. You find yourself resenting the other person and the most silly thing is, this person is not aware of what’s going on in your world. They are busy making themselves better.

Also, comparison makes you channel your energy on the wrong thing because you focus on something else rather than working on yourself.  I know it can be frustrating when you hope to attain a certain level in life but are unable to because of one situation or another but find others achieving the same thing- I understand but remember I mentioned earlier, we all have different routes. Some people might get there before others but in the end, you will get there even if you take the longer route. It is ok, just keep pushing and work harder.

Another thing to remember is, no one gets a gold medal for owning the first house or getting married first or giving birth first so enjoy the process whilst you are trying to be the best version of yourself and do not let the spirit of comparison dwell in you because it brings about negative emotions and I believe you want to live  healthy lives.

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