Life, Depression, Struggles, Lifes Struggles, Be slow to Judge, Wendy Mass, Be Kind, Strength, Support, Encourage

 

Have you heard the saying by Wendy Mass “be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about”? In as much as we might have heard this saying as often as possible, doesn’t it still come as a surprise when you find yourself judging others?

Trust me I use to be guilty of this. I guess it’s safe to say I still am and seldom find myself judging strangers base on their appearance and approach.

What I think we forget to do as humans is snap back to reality when we find ourselves judging others. And when I say snap back to reality, I mean, being conscious of others and understand that everyone goes through rough times and struggles that test their resolve and equally, their faith. But we are quick to look at the person next to us who carries himself with grace and poise and think “Yes! he has a perfect life” or “Yes! they have things well put together”. What’s funny is; the way people appear to us in their vulnerable state is the same way we come across when we are at our lowest.

Another thing I find people do so effortlessly is judging others base on their inability to grasp things. Just because someone doesn’t work or learn at your own pace doesn’t make them slow or dumb. We are different so we learn differently. Instead of judging, learn to work at peoples pace or slow down if you think they aren’t catching up.

Likewise before you judge someone because they didn’t pick your call or return your message; or because they spoke rudely to you or gave you a cold shoulder; think about this: they might be going through a divorce or fighting depression, or the neighbour who spoke rudely might have just received a terrible health news and is struggling to come to terms with it. And do not forget, the colleague giving you a cold shoulder may have just lost a dear one and is dealing with the pain and hasn’t got the slightest clue on how to handle such situation- surprisingly didn’t even know their actions have offended you.

Therefore, before you go kicking someone in the butt, pause and think for a minute. Think about the fact that we all handle pain differently and chose who we let into our world in our most vulnerable state. The same applies to others. For instance, when you go through your stressing moment and cry behind closed doors,( the only place you quit the pretence, go bare and let it all out) you don’t come out with a puffed face, do you? (Hold on a minute while I answer that for you )No, you don’t. Rather you come out dolled up, ready to tackle the challenges of the day as a result, people get the impression that you’re well put together and life is so good to you.

So you see, we need to learn to view things from a different perspective or put ourselves “in other’s shoes’ as we probably are but in a slightly different way. This is because, as you can already tell, we all go through life’s pain.

What I’m trying to say in essence is this; rather than being quick to judge, learn to encourage and overlook the wrongs. I am learning that too. I’m taking baby steps to understand that although people might push me away when they get knocked out by life -because that’s probably the only way they know how to handle issues, I will be part of the few who’d come together to form a pillar of support and strength. I’m learning to be someone’s support, to hold hands rather than bash and turn away when snubbed by others, to work at peoples pace and not judge them for their inability to be as fast as I am. So rather than being a stumbling block by judging the next person, be their pillar of strength and support because we are all fighting a silent battle and in this together.

Valentine, Embrace your Singlehood, Singlehood, Restaurant, Celebrate, Family, Friends, HangoutI hear people express disappointment at spending Valentines day alone. They make comments like ‘hmm it’s Valentines day tomorrow and here I am single’ as if being single is a shame on its own.

This got me thinking about the initial purpose of valentines day, was it a day set aside for lovers as is the norm or is it a time to show love to people around including the beggar at the roadside?

Notwithstanding because of its connotation, people tend to spend Valentine’s day with their other half which is absolutely fine.
So because of what it is popularly known for, a lot of single people get downcast when they’ve got no one to spend this day with.
Here are a couple of suggestions you could employ to make your valentines day worthwhile if you haven’t got a date or someone special to spend it with. It also applies to those in a relationship.

1: Spend time with families and friends. You can either cook a nice dinner and invite them over or, you could all go out for a meal.Valentine, Embrace your Singlehood, Singlehood, Restaurant, Celebrate, Family, Friends, Hangout

A few years back (2016), I had an amazing time with my girlfriend. After a long day at work, I came down to a different city to hang out with her as I haven’t seen her in a while. I wasn’t single but I thought I do something out of the ordinary which was visiting a friend on Valentine’s day. It was such an amazing time together as we got to catch up on what’s been happening with each other. And the highlight of it all was the nice food we were served at the restaurant.

Valentine, Embrace your Singlehood, Singlehood, Restaurant, Celebrate, Family, Friends, Hangout

2. So if the above doesn’t sound good to you as a single person, why not get your friends who are also single so you all can celebrate your ‘singlehood’. Being single can be beautiful in its own way so do not feel dejected when you see other’s put up pictures with their other half. Rather than feeling sad, do something special on this day, celebrate yourself, celebrate your being single and enjoy each moment.
I hope you enjoy your day.

Happy Val x

Growing up, I heard lots of people talk about resolutions for the new year. Being the curious child I was, I sought to find out what it meant and how I could apply it. So here I was making a list of what I would love to achieve in the new year. At the beginning of the year, I would find myself trying to adhere to ground rules and target I had set for myself. However as soon as the holiday was over, and everyone had to resume work or school, I find myself going back to my old way of life and struggling to hit targets I had set.

This is often common with a lot of people who enjoys going on and on with resolutions and at the end of the year, get really upset when goals are not met.

In other to free myself from those heartaches, I learnt to write down achievable goals and set targets or deadlines on when I hope to achieve these goals. I also realised that setting goals are not always easy-most times those goals are achieved within the set time while others might take an extra month or year before they get archived.

I’d end by saying although it’s important to set goals, however, we shouldn’t go over the edge with it. Instead of spending time writing a whole list of what we aim to complete, let’s start by achieving one at a time. Also don’t get mad at yourself when you don’t accomplish what you want at the time you set to achieve it. Most times good things take a while to surface.

Happy New Year

 

This month (1st of October) marked Nigeria’s Independence- Country gained its independence on the 1st of October 1960. This day was particularly important to me because it fell on a Sunday. Not having a topic already in mind, this Independence came in handy 🙂

I felt it was important I talk about embracing one’s identity, or as the case may be; ones Nationality. I have noticed that a lot of people are embarrassed to be identified with their birth country, especially when they get the opportunity to migrate to a different country. I have also found this from children of migrants who feel ashamed of their parent’s heritage. In the former case, they believe travelling abroad is the ultimate destination and as a result, forget where they are from.

I have previously seen a video of a lady who was ‘ashamed’ of her skin type because according to her, it was connoted with ‘poverty’.  I have also overheard people speak negatively about their birth country or motherland because things aren’t as they should be when compared to other countries, such as the ones which they inhabit.

I was in a conversation with someone and when the name of a country popped up, her response was ‘forget that useless country’. I was astounded by her statement, particularly because she is a citizen of the country mentioned. I was also told about a man who refused to invest in his country because he felt it was a ‘dead’ country and as a result discouraged others from investing in it too.

I do understand the frustration, especially when the ‘shi-tu-ation’ found in their society can be avoided but is not, due to greed and selfishness on the part of the government.

What’s amazing is I seldom hear citizens of other Countries e.g. Britons speak negatively about their country. It isn’t that their nation is as good as they portray it but there is a pride in their ‘greatness’ as a nation no matter what goes on. They have a way of displaying the positives of their country and as a result, foreigners run over to such countries and because of this false depiction they sometimes get disappointed.

Nonetheless, it’s imperative to embrace your nationality.  It is your heritage. Avoid speaking negatively about your roots as the grass is often not greener on the other side.

It’s incredible when you’ve got the opportunity to embrace a different culture and meet diverse people, but don’t suppress your identity because you are in a different country. Always remember your ethnicity- it’s what formed you.

I appreciate the fact that some of us would like to change a certain aspect of us and it’s common in most individuals as we all are not perfect and sometimes wish we have a different feature from what we’ve currently got. But I encourage you to embrace who you are and revel in your individuality regardless of your nationality, skin type, weight, height, the way you walk or the sound of your voice. If you have the ability to change what you do not like about yourself, then, by all means, do so but if you are unable to change the situation, I’d encourage you to embrace your ‘uniqueness’ so that others will appreciate you for who you are.

I will conclude by saying it is important that we embrace our cultural heritage and embrace our roots, our individuality and the ethical traditions handed to us by our ancestors. The fact that some things don’t work well in your country doesn’t mean you should disown it or shy away from being identified with that nation. If you’ve got the opportunity to travel abroad, get the knowledge learnt and invest in your country. I encourage everyone to celebrate their culture as that culture made you, it is your roots and trust me, if you look deeper, you will enjoy the riches and fullness of your heritage.

Similarly, learn to embrace your individuality. You are unique regardless of your accent or your skin type. Those qualities made you so take great pleasure in it and let people appreciate you for your worth.

Enjoy the video below and have a wonderful day.

 

Reading, 21st Century,Gadgets, Technology, Jim Rohn, Chris Widener, University, Self Education, Formal Education

 

I often hear the older generation say ‘youngsters don’t read” they believe our generation has replaced reading with visuals and that we consider reading a thing of old- out of place. I wouldn’t necessarily disagree with such ideology, however, I believe the 21st century has evolved and we rarely ever read which is a shame. Although some people are more concerned with the initial or short-term benefits when it comes to reading- The question of ‘what do I stand to achieve?’ comes into play when the subject of reading is mentioned. Reading has been equated with Academic, Boring and Introvert which for some isn’t ‘up to social standing.’
We prefer to get the latest gadget because of the social benefit of having such device and the privileges it comes with. So we avoid the idea of reading when it doesn’t liken the benefit our devices come with.

Have you ever had to urge to buy a new book as we do latest gadgets? Perhaps another theory behind reading and why it is considered a chore is because reading is no longer equated with value- People see reading as an inherently introversive thing- something that only benefits the reader, we don’t ever get the chance to show off with reading because it does not benefit us enough in a social sense. Which is absolutely true as knowledge isn’t an object but I believe knowledge can be felt although not as much as we can show off our iPhone.
Isn’t it funny that we hardly see or hear people eager to get a book that’s due to be released but ever so often, we hear people anticipate the release of a new gadget? (By the way, I heard the latest iPhone is scheduled to be released next month). Only if we are eager to grab a book as we do other stuff like technology.

Books never get out of fashion. Technology does.

There will always be a place for reading.

Another reason behind reading I assume could be because we are in a consumer culture, we are shown other stuff to consume and the idea of reading is assigned to teachers to deal with. Take a look at our advertising system, for instance, we are presented with other stuff to consume but reading. Could it be because there is no cultural stigma to reading or people don’t feel need to read because the value of reading is not as exposed as it should?

As a teenager, I and my friends were always eager to read out to the entire class. To us, it was a thing of pride- a time to show our eloquence or so we thought.

I realise how much people hate reading. I’m not saying reading is always fun although it depends on the contents. Most times it is often a bore when one is assigned the task of reading. People see it as a drag while for others, selling books is perceived as a mini ‘scam’- a way of ripping people off by getting them to buy and read books.

I use to find myself in the first category- those who find reading boring especially when it’s been given as a task. I tend to enjoy reading a book or an article when chosen voluntarily but I have learnt that in other to do better for myself I need to read wide and this means whether it’s interesting or boring. The most important thing is that it must be educative or informative.

As a child I thought completing my studies and coming out with great results will make me or made people successful. I didn’t realise that formal education doesn’t hit the mark at all times because most of life will be lived after ones’ formal education. This doesn’t mean formal education is a waste of time because it isn’t.
I remember my final year in university was tough and I said to my friend “I’m done with uni; I also promised I wouldn’t read the sign on a board” little did I know I was deceiving myself. After working in a company for a year and few months, I realised I needed more out of life so I went back to study however it isn’t all about formal education-which is something most people fail to realise, they think formal education is the ‘end-goal’. I used to think so until I got reading and understood that “formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune”. With self-education, we are constantly improving and growing.

I was open to a whole new ideology from reading a book ‘Twelve Pillars’ that has challenged me to read more. The authors said and I’ll leave you with the same thought to ponder on:
“Have you ever wanted to sit down and have dinner with great leaders and famous thinkers? You can when you read their books”.

Below are few quotes I found which I thought perhaps will get you to grab and anticipate the release of a new book.

“Let us read and let us dance – two amusements that will never do any harm to the world.”
 – Voltaire

To learn to read is to light a fire; every syllable that is spelled out is a spark.”
 – Victor Hugo

“To acquire the habit of reading is to construct for yourself a refuge from almost all the miseries of life.”
 – Somerset Maugham

“You don’t have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them.”
 – Ray Bradbury

“A truly great book should be read in youth, again in maturity and once more in old age, as a fine building should be seen by morning light, at noon and by moonlight.”
 – Robertson Davies

“So please, oh PLEASE, we beg, we pray, Go throw your TV set away, And in its place you can install, A lovely bookshelf on the wall.”
 – Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

“It is not true we have only one life to love, if we can read, we can live as many lives and as many kinds of lives as we wish.”
 – S.I. Hayakawa

“Choose an author as you choose a friend.”
 – Sir Christopher Wren

Instagram

0   5
0   11
1   5
0   12