I realise there are infinite number of things or people we will compare ourselves with. The list is fathomless and  comparing yourself is a strong emotion that resonates with every individual regardless of age or race.

And even if you do not want to, you seldom find that you are drawn towards comparing or competing with someone else because that in itself is a strong human emotion and when you start comparing you find there is no end to it especially if you see your mates or people on social media (which by the way mostly depicts false impression)  doing something exciting and you are yet to achieve that, you are drawn to comparing.

You need to understand that comparing yourself only rubs you off your happiness- Your own happiness and your precious time. Rather than comparing, why not find something worthwhile to do in order to develop yourself.

Everyone has a different route they go through in life as well as different gifts. The fact that someone got there before you doesn’t make you a failure. You are only different and will get there eventually, you might just take a longer route and that’s ok.

Comparison also brings about resentment. You find yourself resenting the other person and the most silly thing is, this person is not aware of what’s going on in your world. They are busy making themselves better.

Also, comparison makes you channel your energy on the wrong thing because you focus on something else rather than working on yourself.  I know it can be frustrating when you hope to attain a certain level in life but are unable to because of one situation or another but find others achieving the same thing- I understand but remember I mentioned earlier, we all have different routes. Some people might get there before others but in the end, you will get there even if you take the longer route. It is ok, just keep pushing and work harder.

Another thing to remember is, no one gets a gold medal for owning the first house or getting married first or giving birth first so enjoy the process whilst you are trying to be the best version of yourself and do not let the spirit of comparison dwell in you because it brings about negative emotions and I believe you want to live  healthy lives.

This is an overdue request on the products I use on my hair. I thought you might benefit from it.

Life, Depression, Struggles, Lifes Struggles, Be slow to Judge, Wendy Mass, Be Kind, Strength, Support, Encourage

 

Have you heard the saying by Wendy Mass “be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about”? In as much as we might have heard this saying as often as possible, doesn’t it still come as a surprise when you find yourself judging others?

Trust me I use to be guilty of this. I guess it’s safe to say I still am and seldom find myself judging strangers base on their appearance and approach.

What I think we forget to do as humans is snap back to reality when we find ourselves judging others. And when I say snap back to reality, I mean, being conscious of others and understand that everyone goes through rough times and struggles that test their resolve and equally, their faith. But we are quick to look at the person next to us who carries himself with grace and poise and think “Yes! he has a perfect life” or “Yes! they have things well put together”. What’s funny is; the way people appear to us in their vulnerable state is the same way we come across when we are at our lowest.

Another thing I find people do so effortlessly is judging others base on their inability to grasp things. Just because someone doesn’t work or learn at your own pace doesn’t make them slow or dumb. We are different so we learn differently. Instead of judging, learn to work at peoples pace or slow down if you think they aren’t catching up.

Likewise before you judge someone because they didn’t pick your call or return your message; or because they spoke rudely to you or gave you a cold shoulder; think about this: they might be going through a divorce or fighting depression, or the neighbour who spoke rudely might have just received a terrible health news and is struggling to come to terms with it. And do not forget, the colleague giving you a cold shoulder may have just lost a dear one and is dealing with the pain and hasn’t got the slightest clue on how to handle such situation- surprisingly didn’t even know their actions have offended you.

Therefore, before you go kicking someone in the butt, pause and think for a minute. Think about the fact that we all handle pain differently and chose who we let into our world in our most vulnerable state. The same applies to others. For instance, when you go through your stressing moment and cry behind closed doors,( the only place you quit the pretence, go bare and let it all out) you don’t come out with a puffed face, do you? (Hold on a minute while I answer that for you )No, you don’t. Rather you come out dolled up, ready to tackle the challenges of the day as a result, people get the impression that you’re well put together and life is so good to you.

So you see, we need to learn to view things from a different perspective or put ourselves “in other’s shoes’ as we probably are but in a slightly different way. This is because, as you can already tell, we all go through life’s pain.

What I’m trying to say in essence is this; rather than being quick to judge, learn to encourage and overlook the wrongs. I am learning that too. I’m taking baby steps to understand that although people might push me away when they get knocked out by life -because that’s probably the only way they know how to handle issues, I will be part of the few who’d come together to form a pillar of support and strength. I’m learning to be someone’s support, to hold hands rather than bash and turn away when snubbed by others, to work at peoples pace and not judge them for their inability to be as fast as I am. So rather than being a stumbling block by judging the next person, be their pillar of strength and support because we are all fighting a silent battle and in this together.

Valentine, Embrace your Singlehood, Singlehood, Restaurant, Celebrate, Family, Friends, HangoutI hear people express disappointment at spending Valentines day alone. They make comments like ‘hmm it’s Valentines day tomorrow and here I am single’ as if being single is a shame on its own.

This got me thinking about the initial purpose of valentines day, was it a day set aside for lovers as is the norm or is it a time to show love to people around including the beggar at the roadside?

Notwithstanding because of its connotation, people tend to spend Valentine’s day with their other half which is absolutely fine.
So because of what it is popularly known for, a lot of single people get downcast when they’ve got no one to spend this day with.
Here are a couple of suggestions you could employ to make your valentines day worthwhile if you haven’t got a date or someone special to spend it with. It also applies to those in a relationship.

1: Spend time with families and friends. You can either cook a nice dinner and invite them over or, you could all go out for a meal.Valentine, Embrace your Singlehood, Singlehood, Restaurant, Celebrate, Family, Friends, Hangout

A few years back (2016), I had an amazing time with my girlfriend. After a long day at work, I came down to a different city to hang out with her as I haven’t seen her in a while. I wasn’t single but I thought I do something out of the ordinary which was visiting a friend on Valentine’s day. It was such an amazing time together as we got to catch up on what’s been happening with each other. And the highlight of it all was the nice food we were served at the restaurant.

Valentine, Embrace your Singlehood, Singlehood, Restaurant, Celebrate, Family, Friends, Hangout

2. So if the above doesn’t sound good to you as a single person, why not get your friends who are also single so you all can celebrate your ‘singlehood’. Being single can be beautiful in its own way so do not feel dejected when you see other’s put up pictures with their other half. Rather than feeling sad, do something special on this day, celebrate yourself, celebrate your being single and enjoy each moment.
I hope you enjoy your day.

Happy Val x

Growing up, I heard lots of people talk about resolutions for the new year. Being the curious child I was, I sought to find out what it meant and how I could apply it. So here I was making a list of what I would love to achieve in the new year. At the beginning of the year, I would find myself trying to adhere to ground rules and target I had set for myself. However as soon as the holiday was over, and everyone had to resume work or school, I find myself going back to my old way of life and struggling to hit targets I had set.

This is often common with a lot of people who enjoys going on and on with resolutions and at the end of the year, get really upset when goals are not met.

In other to free myself from those heartaches, I learnt to write down achievable goals and set targets or deadlines on when I hope to achieve these goals. I also realised that setting goals are not always easy-most times those goals are achieved within the set time while others might take an extra month or year before they get archived.

I’d end by saying although it’s important to set goals, however, we shouldn’t go over the edge with it. Instead of spending time writing a whole list of what we aim to complete, let’s start by achieving one at a time. Also don’t get mad at yourself when you don’t accomplish what you want at the time you set to achieve it. Most times good things take a while to surface.

Happy New Year

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